I imagine writing a movie like if Rodney Dangerfield played the role of Scarface. Hear me out, here's my movie idea:
Secret agent Michael Jackson(played by Tom Sizemore), that always get teased because he has the same name as the pop-star, is sent on a mission to rescue oil businessman Oliver Gutland(played by Pauly Shore) from a terrorist attack by Iranian mobsters shaking him down. Agent MJ comes to investigate. He has to play a card game with the Iranian don Alou Tasshi(played by Richard Gere) in order to get information on Oliver's whereabouts. He wins the game, beats everyone in sight with a dildo that was used by a prostitute with down syndrome(played by Judy Sheindlin) which he met an a Atlanta Braves game. He fights off goons with karate kid moves through most the movie, but in the process he falls in love with an Otorhinolaryngologist with leprosy(played by Loni Love) that gets kidnapped by the don, and he sents his mercinary Cutneck(played by Devin Ratray) to kill Agent MJ. MJ and Cutneck have a battle til the death at a polka dance club. Cutneck falls off a stage from a theatre balcony and snapped his neck, dead. He flys on a magic carpet to the place his gf is being held. He has a final battle with the don, where he throws a bunch of cold cuts in his face, then shit in his mouth. In the end, Agent MJ his gf and the president(played by Scott Vogel) rewards him with a key to the city(which is shaped as a cock) for his bravery in saving the country again
what you think?