forum Politics and Society ›› TIME: The Childfree Life ›› new reply Post Reply
Kadesh

Kadesh
37,474 Posts
33/M/PA

offline     (26)
August 4 2013 6:51 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
Caught my eye.....





"Earlier this year, TIME shined a "shocking" spotlight on the rise and lifestyle of Millenials, earning widespread mockery. This week, the magazine is declaring a new demographic a group of interest: The child-free.

The latest issue features a cover story called "The Childfree Life: When having it all means not having children," by Lauren Sandler, who recently garnered attention for her book One and Only on the benefits of having just one child. Now, Sandler is exploring the lives of people who opt to have zero children, asking why they choose to reject the tide of pressure to have babies.

There are many commendable aspects to Sandler’s article. For one, she backs up the child-free trend with some hard numbers and interesting statistics. She cites a 2010 Pew Research report that shows that about one in five American women never have children, up from one in ten in the 1970s. She also demonstrates that the trend was in swing even before the recession provided extra economic incentives not to have kids, noting that by 2008, the proportion of women ages 40 to 44 who had never given birth had grown by 80 percent.

Moreover, Sandler does a great job of emphasizing that people who choose not to have children are doing so for a whole bunch of reasons, not just out of economic hardship (though that wouldn’t be a bad justification, considering that on average it takes $234,900 to raise a child born in 2011). She includes interviews with women who are significantly happier with their friends, family, travel, and jobs because they have chosen not to become parents. "I do all sorts of things: buy an unnecessary beautiful object, plan trips with our aging parents, sleep in, send care packages to nieces and nephews, enroll in language classes," says Jenna Johnson, one of the women featured in the article.

Johnson’s positive feelings are emblematic of all the women interviewed. Gone are the regretful women who wished they’d had children when they could; this article actually shows women from their twenties through their fifties relishing their choice not to procreate.

Unfortunately, one of the biggest problems with the piece is that pretty much only women are interviewed. There are one or two male voices, but the child-free opinions come mostly from the ladies. Sandler tries to justify it by explaining that most of the pressure to procreate falls on women, or as Pamela Smock of the University of Michigan says in the piece, "Childlessness defaults to women."

Still, by essentially choosing not to question men about their decisions to remain child-free because society already gives them a "free-pass," Sandler does a disservice to the issue. "Where, in Lauren Sandler’s examination of the ‘maternal instinct,’ is a question about the paternal one?" presses Mary Elizabeth Williams at Salon. "Where, in any of it, is the thoughtful, reasoned voice of a guy who just doesn’t want to be on the daddy track?"

And when women end up being nearly the only ones featured in a cover story on childlessness, the article ultimately adds to the extreme pressure on women to have children. "Wouldn’t it be grand if TIME remembered that having children — and not having them — isn’t something that only happens to women?" wonders Williams.

Moreover, even if the article had featured a balance of the sexes, do we really need good old TIME to tell us it’s okay not to have babies? Does TIME even think it actually is okay not to have kids? While Sandler’s piece has its strong points, the cover of the magazine is a little obnoxious, suggesting that there is actually something abnormally selfish about foregoing children. It features a heterosexual couple in turquoise swimsuits lounging on the beach looking more than relaxed, even smug. As Sarah B. Weir at Yahoo! Shine says, "They look like lazy yuppies to me. The matching swimsuits reek of self-satisfied, in-your-face DINKS (double income no kids)."

The issue also includes some other pieces on being child-free, including a very thoughtful personal essay. Still, the overall tone of the issue can sometimes feel like TIME is investigating a foreign, fascinating species, further ostracizing people who choose not to have children as some strange aberration from mainstream society.

But it seems like the child-free are the least likely to take offense. If we learn anything from Sandler’s article it’s that people who have chosen not to have children are over the haters and naysayers. "When I was younger I found it more exhausting," says Eleanor Wells, a woman in her mid-fifties who has been constantly questioned about her decision not to have children. "Now, I don’t give a s--- what anyone thinks."

click here for link


Man is Truth
sleeps on hills
5,530 Posts
40/M/NJ


offline   (11)
August 4 2013 7:56 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
Did you write that? I don't think so.

Is there a point though? Probably everyone that posts here is in that generation, and has not failed to notice that a lot of us are not parents.
crunkmoose
Netflx n chilli
24,482 Posts
61/M/MA


offline   (9)
August 4 2013 7:58 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
"Did you write that? I don't think so."

Could be why his first sentence is that it caught his eye... not that he fucking wrote it.
Kadesh
Kadesh
37,474 Posts
33/M/PA


offline  mobile reply     (26)
August 4 2013 10:17 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
Originally posted by: Man is Truth

Did you write that? I don't think so.

Is there a point though? Probably everyone that posts here is in that generation, and has not failed to notice that a lot of us are not parents.






I gave the link, you could see where it came from. It's just interesting to me that I visibly see this trend.
Dianana
8====D
65,182 Posts
34/F/PA


offline  mobile reply   (8)
August 4 2013 11:09 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
-Time Magazine is a joke, I'm pretty sure it actually reported real news when I was younger.
-No one can "have it all," what the fuck is "having it all" anyway?
-Some people have kids, others don't.
Jason Voorheees
dogfood meatballs
6,428 Posts
39/M/NY


offline   (4)
August 5 2013 1:21 AM   QuickQuote Quote  
^time magazine has actually always sucked.

if you want a good laugh and have a few hours to kill looking at microfilm [it may be all online by now], check out their coverage of mccarthy in the early 1950's. they go from totally supporting him to not as the winds of public opinion changed [and he made the fatal mistake of going after military figures in his famous witchhunt]. it's a pretty striking reversal, and pretty telling just how much integrity they have/don't have.

plenty of publications were critical of him from the start, many more were not, and i doubt time was unique in its acrobatic pivot, but it was one of the more high profile ones. and that matters because they have influence, and if mccarthy hadn't made such an obvious tactical error and caught hell for it, they would have likely continued their glowing coverage of him, and many more lives would have been ruined, and people would have thought that it was all ok, because of that influence.

so yeah, fuck them too.
Jason Voorheees
dogfood meatballs
6,428 Posts
39/M/NY


offline   (4)
August 5 2013 1:47 AM   QuickQuote Quote  
but this


Originally posted by: Dianana

-No one can "have it all," what the fuck is "having it all" anyway?
.

.


this is actually a really profound point. we are so often led to feel inadequate for one thing or another, materially, spiritually, etc., if we don't check off all the things expected of us at the various mile markers of a life, and they're all bullshit. you know who has it all? people born multi millionaires. the rest of us slobs are lucky if we get one of those things, maybe two, and hold onto them for a short period of time.

"have it all". fuck that. how many men and women's lives has that mentality fucked up when they gave up their careers and aspirations to do the 'right thing' and help poop out another useless generation? who knows what contributions they would have made without having kids, maybe even more than their gift to society of emo sluts and dub step douchebags.

and those are just the ones that thought about it beforehand. for every man and woman that enters into parenting by well thought out decision, there's a hundred more that have never made a well thought out decision in their lives. every trailer park is full of lucky bastards 'having it all'.

that being said, there are people who become great parents and truly take to the task like an art. but how rare is that? have kids if you really, really want to and you've thought it out and planned it out well. but the idea that everyone should have kids needs to be reversed. most people shouldn't. just indulging your own short sighted self gratification at making a copy of yourself is not really a good reason for doing it, and that seems really common.
Jason Voorheees
dogfood meatballs
6,428 Posts
39/M/NY


offline   (4)
August 5 2013 1:53 AM   QuickQuote Quote  
and then there's just




click here for link
Kadesh
Kadesh
37,474 Posts
33/M/PA


offline     (26)
September 18 2013 3:50 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
I know my sister in law and brother are following this trend. My sister in law told my wife they aren't having kids...that goes along with my bro and his wife, they like being childless & they've been married for 6 years.
Kadesh
Kadesh
37,474 Posts
33/M/PA


offline     (26)
September 18 2013 3:52 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
I agree, in marriage it's not a big hype to have a kid. I personally think it's kind of selfish not too. It's a free county though, it's up to the couple.

Originally posted by: Jason Voorheees

but this


Originally posted by: Dianana

-No one can "have it all," what the fuck is "having it all" anyway?
.




this is actually a really profound point. we are so often led to feel inadequate for one thing or another, materially, spiritually, etc., if we don't check off all the things expected of us at the various mile markers of a life, and they're all bullshit. you know who has it all? people born multi millionaires. the rest of us slobs are lucky if we get one of those things, maybe two, and hold onto them for a short period of time.

"have it all". fuck that. how many men and women's lives has that mentality fucked up when they gave up their careers and aspirations to do the 'right thing' and help poop out another useless generation? who knows what contributions they would have made without having kids, maybe even more than their gift to society of emo sluts and dub step douchebags.

and those are just the ones that thought about it beforehand. for every man and woman that enters into parenting by well thought out decision, there's a hundred more that have never made a well thought out decision in their lives. every trailer park is full of lucky bastards 'having it all'.

that being said, there are people who become great parents and truly take to the task like an art. but how rare is that? have kids if you really, really want to and you've thought it out and planned it out well. but the idea that everyone should have kids needs to be reversed. most people shouldn't. just indulging your own short sighted self gratification at making a copy of yourself is not really a good reason for doing it, and that seems really common.
Dianana
8====D
65,182 Posts
34/F/PA


offline   (8)
September 18 2013 4:06 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
wat are you saying?
Jess.
wiener breath
38,428 Posts
30/F/PA


offline   (11)
September 18 2013 4:16 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
No kids for me ever. Ideally, I'll be a DINK, but maybe it will be just me and my dog. Either way, I am happy.
tom.
^__^
62,525 Posts
33/M/PA


offline     (5)
September 18 2013 5:11 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
if there's one thing that sets my coworker off, it's when anyone asks him if him and his wife plan on having kids.
the cat
trash digger
7,191 Posts
33/M/DC


offline   (5)
September 18 2013 5:17 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
I want kids, pm for a/s/l
crunkmoose
Netflx n chilli
24,482 Posts
61/M/MA


offline   (9)
September 18 2013 7:50 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
"I personally think it's kind of selfish not to"

How the fuck is it selfish to not bring yet another child you don't really want into an overpopulated world that is more of a constant fucking shitshow than it has been in a century or two?
crunkmoose
Netflx n chilli
24,482 Posts
61/M/MA


offline   (9)
September 18 2013 7:51 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
Also...

forum Politics and Society ›› TIME: The Childfree Life ›› new reply Post Reply

Quick Reply - RE: TIME: The Childfree Life

Connect with Facebook to comment: Login w/FB

or Sign up free! - or login:







Subject


wrap selection with italics
wrap selection with bold
insert less than symbol
insert greater than symbol


google image Insert Google Images
Share a Band



Your ad here?