Originally posted by:wholesaletrash
there is one person in my life that i tell most of my stuff to. i have a couple reasons for this
a) he is loyal to me and only me so he always takes my side ::win::
b) he doesn't know my friends so he doesn't judge them nor does he care about them really
c) he is anti-social as shit so he doesn't talk to anyone anyway
d) he knows that i go on complete rampages about shit and then i'm over it in 2 seconds so hes aware that 99% of the stuff I say shouldn't even be taken seriously
BUT, when a friend comes to me in confidence I have learned to keep that conversation between the two of us. It took me a while, but i have finally mastered that skill.
Seriously though people, if your friend is in a serious relationship and you tell them something in confidence, they are probably going to tell their significant other. Its how relationships work, I think a lot of you need to grow up.
I was in complete agreement with you until the last paragraph.
But I don't think expecting a reasonable degree of privacy means "you need to grow up". By that standard the Bill of Rights just needs to 'grow up' too. Maybe in post-Patriot Act America, people have a different expectation of having their basic human dignities honored, but unless you're used to living in the military or a police state, expecting friends to keep secrets is pretty basic to, well, friendship. That it's in conflict with other loyalties is also pretty basic: it's a complicated world and sometimes every relationship you have is in conflict with every other. That's
something people need to 'grow up' to realize.
Now, do people regularly betray this trust to other people, namely spouses or S/O's? Of course they do. That is the way of the world; people are fundamentally corrupt and slavish. But that is also the lowest common denominator of what to expect from a friendship, and a pretty low bar to set for it. I can only hope that the people I know have higher standards than that.
And for all the people who think all of this doesn't matter and is no big deal, consider the statement "Oh, everyone knows [*person's full name*] is a drug dealer," and now picture that coming out of someone's fat ignorant wife's mouth in a public place like I did a few weeks ago. Not a big deal until you're the one doing 3-10 years because some idiot had diarrhea of the mouth.